LALALA THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU CANNOT FUCKING SLEEP

I always go on and on about how I have insomnia, I don’t have insomnia, I just don’t seem to sleep at night. So I decided to compile a list of things I do when I cannot sleep.

You can of course do these things in the day, or when you can sleep. However they are much more fun when you cannot, don’t ask me why! they just are.

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One of my favourite things to do is watch when Justin Bieber retweets or tweets his fans. It is HILARIOUS they actually go mental, like properly MENTAL. Like put me in a straight jacket and call me Shirley mental. I have been known to spend too much time looking at their comments once he retweets them. I am 28.

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I am a creep, a full on facebook/twitter/whateverelse CREEP. I love stalking my ex boyfriends, ex friends, laughing at their shitty lives, watching them get fat. Honestly if people say they don’t do this? THEY LIE. Oh when people are stupid enough to not put their facebook on private, PEOPLE COME ON! (better for me, but really) I just love it. There is something about stalking at night though, like they cannot see me! bahahaha

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I remember when I was in love with a guy called Ritche from a band called 5ive. He started going out with Billie Piper and I wanted to die. So when you need some insomnia lols just check #haylor on twitter or tumblr. Haylor is Harry Styles and Taylor Swift – so many lols, so many oh dear god, but most of all so many lols. I am 28, I find this shit entertaining. Sue me.

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Get Drunk.

Failsafe option for anything, cannot sleep? get drunk. Why not.

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Lists are awesome. But no ‘oh rainbows and fucking butterflies this is how I am going to make my life better’ OH NO. Lists of things such as: Favourite Ways to watch Kim Kardashian Die: Favourite Insults, 10 people I would put on an iceburg tomorrow…ETC

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My favourite thing to do when I cannot sleep is post pictures of Nicolas Cage EVERYWHERE.

Post the above picture on the bathroom mirror with ‘you look sexy, love Nicolas Cage’

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Pancakes for Breakfast? Yes please, Love Nicolas Cage

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Forever yours, love Nicolas Cage

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lets have a great day, love Nicolas cage.

GO WILD WITH THE CAGE, THE MORE THE BETTER!

2013 already sucks,

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8 comments
  1. Ah, insomnia. My old frenemy. At least now I have some fun ideas for the next time I can’t sleep. Sure beats eating Cheetos and ignoring the book I should be writing!

    P.S. Hi! Found you via GOMI on a list of “Actually Funny Blogs”.

    • Ah a book how exciting! Do tell me more! GOMI? what is this word you speak of? I did notice a bit more traffic recently, normally I just write bambling shit that I feel needs to come out. haha but hello! 😀 and I feel special being in the ‘actually funny blogs’

  2. Sorry! GOMI is http://www.getoffmyinternets.net. They target bloggers who tend to be fake/pretentious/boring. They also have forums for their members, which is where I found the link to your blog. 😀

    The book…is going to sound really weird to you. It’s a murder mystery, and the clues to the murder(s) are hidden within a knitting pattern. It’s targeted for a fairly specific audience, but I’m hoping to make it accessible and interesting even to those who don’t knit. I’ll know in a few months if I’ve actually succeeded or failed miserably. Cross your fingers! 😉

    • Look at me replying like a little psycho waiting for comments! (i promise you on harry styles life I just get email notifications) haha

      I like the sound of it! i cannot knit but alas i love a good mystery! I want to follow you but i am fucking stupid and cannot seem to work out how….

      but let me know when you launch/publish i will link – do a fucked up but YAY AWESOME blog – unless it is twilight part 2 ft. knitting. Cos thats too much even for me. x

  3. Bahaha! Nah, it’s okay, I’m all for the stalkers. 😉 I’ll let you know when I publish, thanks muchly! And no worries, NO Twilight-inspired fiction here, on account of I have a brain and I like my heros to have same. LOL

  4. OMG I think I spelled heroes wrong. My HEROES have brains. My heros are sandwiches and are therefore incapable of original thought (much like Stephenie Meyer).

    • is your heroes have sandwiches they will always win. ALWAYS

      • And now I have the title for my next book. HEROES WITH HEROS.

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