The Story of my Ex BFF (Kinda)

A while ago (OK a couple of years, I went on holiday to Florida with my entire family.) Now you would think this would be a reason to get drunk (kinda did everyday) it was also the time I made friends with a cat, a VERY feral cat.

ImageNow I am a smoker, so every morning I would get up and go outside to the front door and have a fag. One morning this cat was hanging about, look a bit of the deranged side, and looking a big homeless. I kinda knew how it felt so went inside, grabbed a bit of ham and fed. It lapped that up!


Now day two we didn’t have any ham so I resorted to feeding it crisps. It was loving that shit! So much so by the third day it was waiting for me. Suddenly me and feral cat were like BFF we would eat crisps for breakfast together, giving each other the off nod and then he would leave, and I would be exposed to some god awful family event.


So one morning we got up really early, and got into the car I secretly left my BFF some crisps out, and just as we were leaving my uncle goes ‘OMG a fucking raccoon, the neighbourhood has been trying to get rid of this one for good, damn rabies riddled beast! I kind of sat there looking at my bff, thinking oh.


After that I smoked in the back garden, my poor BFF left out in the cold from out crisp eating parties. But man, rabies would suck more than life already does. I still think about my furball friend sometimes though, wondering where they are now.

From your friend always,



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