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Last night I watched titanic 3d at the cinema. (special screening for drunken idiots like myself who missed it the first time around)

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It got me thinking. I cannot wait for Titanic 4D. Where the cinema actually floods and people start drowning,
and they turn the heating off, and you REALLY feel part if the movie.

Food for thought. (Or Gin in my case)

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This afternoon turned into one of those afternoons that involved wine, tacos and some more wine. Then in my euphoric wine state I remembered this:

‘Next time you’re washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and say ‘this water is getting out of hand’. It’s a guaranteed way to make friends i have never tried it but it is guaranteed.’

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I did not make friends, I got asked to leave as was ‘freaking out customers’

I did test this theory around 15 times? and I think my crazy eyes came out at around  number 8?

Lesson Learned.

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ImageLast night I got drunk, but before my boyfriend went out drinking I asked him to order me a pizza. A pizza that came with PINEAPPLE ON IT. So in my drunken stupor I left him a note saying the following.

You like putting pineapple on your pizza, well I do not. I hope you enjoy putting pineapples on your children’s graves because you’re WEAK. Your bloodline is WEAK, and you will not survive the winter.

He thinks I am a little more mental than he did before.

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A while ago (OK a couple of years, I went on holiday to Florida with my entire family.) Now you would think this would be a reason to get drunk (kinda did everyday) it was also the time I made friends with a cat, a VERY feral cat.

ImageNow I am a smoker, so every morning I would get up and go outside to the front door and have a fag. One morning this cat was hanging about, look a bit of the deranged side, and looking a big homeless. I kinda knew how it felt so went inside, grabbed a bit of ham and fed. It lapped that up!

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Now day two we didn’t have any ham so I resorted to feeding it crisps. It was loving that shit! So much so by the third day it was waiting for me. Suddenly me and feral cat were like BFF we would eat crisps for breakfast together, giving each other the off nod and then he would leave, and I would be exposed to some god awful family event.

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So one morning we got up really early, and got into the car I secretly left my BFF some crisps out, and just as we were leaving my uncle goes ‘OMG a fucking raccoon, the neighbourhood has been trying to get rid of this one for good, damn rabies riddled beast! I kind of sat there looking at my bff, thinking oh.

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After that I smoked in the back garden, my poor BFF left out in the cold from out crisp eating parties. But man, rabies would suck more than life already does. I still think about my furball friend sometimes though, wondering where they are now.

From your friend always,

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