Archive

things I love

Image

It’s a bank holiday here in the UK, now I awoke to having to babysit my god daughter, still a bit drunk, and watching Hannah Montana. It occurred to me whilst watching the show (and indulging in my post event bottle of wine) that there really are Hannah Montana lyrics for every event in life! Here are just a FEW prime examples.

Hannah Montana
Best Of Both Worlds

Image

For when you are living two separate lives one as a high class hooker, hooked on cocaine, and one as a stay at home mum.

Mix it all together
And you know that it’s the best of both
You know the best of both worlds

Hannah Montana
HoeDown ThrowDown lyrics

ImagePretty self explanatory, when you see a hoe you hate, you throw them.

Throw It All Together, That’s How We Roll
Do The Hoedown (Throw down)

Hannah Montana
The Bone Dance lyrics

Image

When you hook up with a guy, he gets hard, a boner etc, you gotta know how to work it (for how not to work it see Miley’s VMA13 performance)

We’re doing the bone dance
You study the answers
Again and again til I get it right

Hannah Montana
This Boy, That Girl lyrics

Image

For when you have just come out of rehab and have started dating again.

Yeah I’m clean and it’s really nice to meet ya
1, 2, 3 could you smile for a picture

Hannah Montana
True Friend lyrics

Image

For when you are going to go home with some really ugly/drunk/weird guy because you are wasted beyond control.

A true friend
You’re here till the end
You pull me aside
When something ain’t right
Talk with me now and into the night

Told you.

Image

Icebergs are fucking BADASS no mother fucker messes with a mother fucking iceberg. Now before you say, say whhaaaattt ask anyone on the Titanic – these motherfuckers don’t mess around. Therefore here are my reasons why being an iceberg is better than being a human.

Image

Icebergs don’t give a shit if you leave them, they don’t cry and eat ice cream, they just sit there being all amazing like ‘whatever ‘bro I’m a fucking iceberg’

Image

Everybody loves icebergs, they are all ‘fuck yeah what an amazing spectacle’ ice cool just sits there all cool and shit.

Image

Icebergs are sneaky fuckers, they look one size, and then POW they have a lot going on underneath.

Image

Icebergs are friends with badass Polar bears. Seriously they love them, so do penguins and seals. Hanging with the cool crew there.

Image

Do icebergs get crushes on guys? do they fall out with friends? Nah they spend their days chilling out, and floating around destroying shit. Icebergs for the win.

Time to find some ice(berg) for my whiskey.

Image

Image

Back in the good old days, the war between N*Sync and BSB was more dangerous then the Bloods Vs Crips or something like that. Imagine if we had, had twitter? I dare to dream!

Image

Oh they might have the dolls, the cardboard cut outs, and whatever else. But do you have lip balm pops like this? I think not!

Image

I mean come on, you are not legit if you are not wearing shirts like this, NOT legit (I am looking at you One Direction)

Image

Can any other boyband in the history of boybands do this every year? and still find it funny? NO. The answer you are looking for is NO.

Image

Boybands used to dance, they loved those moves in sync (oh the pun!) so where are the moves now? I want some synchronized moves dammit!

So yea, I only have one question:

Image

Off to get drunk and dance to N*SYNC, please join me won’t you?

Image