my ex is still logged into twitter on my phone
I could be cliché and tweet ‘I’m a fucking twat lol’



every few days I will tweet something he would totally say

but he will never remember tweeting it

slowly the slightly out of place tweets will drive him insane





Pink is the countries in which Britain has invaded, I mean seriously Britain. (I am British)

My theory is, all right we were a young country. Everyone has trouble growing up, everyone has rebellious stages, some countries skateboarded and didn’t listen to their mothers; and we just happened to go for world domination. Everyone’s different.

I repeat, pink is countries Britain has invaded


Sometimes I think about my funeral, and I think to myself did I lead a respectful life? No. So why would I have a respectful funeral.  So when I die, my ashes are going to be mixed with glitter, and then they are going to be exploded out of my coffin like a firework display. Whilst I and the glitter rain down on my guests, THX 4 THE MMRS by Fall out Boy shall play loudly.